We talk about the “always on” culture - phones, pings, and pressure to reply instantly - and how it hijacks presence, deep focus, and self-worth. From family group chats and school apps to work Slack and late-night DMs, we explore why constant accessibility feels normal (and even “kind”), how it fuels anxiety and perfectionism, and simple, compassionate boundaries that let you choose when you’re available. The goal isn’t a digital detox; it’s digital boundaries - so you can be in your life, not just in your inbox.

• The speed of living: Instant everything (messages, info, shopping, streaming) creates a false “high capacity” expectation - and a nervous system on edge
• Responsiveness ≠ reliability: We unpack why replying fast has been confused with being caring, competent, or “on it.”
• Home + work spillover: From school apps to after-hours Slack—why the lack of pause multiplies the mental load.
• Kids, teens, and phones: Read receipts, comparison, and the pressure to respond—how we’re coaching our kids (and ourselves).
• Addiction loops: The comfort of holding the phone, the “just one more app” cycle, and how partial attention keeps us revved.
• Research we reference: Constant interruptions erode focus and increase anxiety; it takes real time to refocus after a ping.

• You don’t owe anyone constant access. Your worth isn’t measured in response times.
• Pause beats panic. Waiting to reply often leads to calmer, kinder, clearer responses.
• Make one small boundary today: 10–15 phone-free minutes (or an hour if you can). Notice the twitch, boredom, or urge—beneath it is calm.
• Say it out loud: “No rush to reply.” Model it and people mirror it.
• Choose your pockets of presence: After breakfast before checking, or phone charging in the kitchen at night.
• Remember: Reliability is showing up when it matters, not being instantly available.
  
  
  

Tell us your favourite digital boundary. Do you have phone-free time? Do read receipts stress you out? Feel free DM us on Instagram @youkeepmesane.pod, or leave us a voicemail - we may feature your thoughts in a future episode.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview
We dive into that sticky space between empathy and exhaustion—the moment a caring friend becomes the “emotional sponge” (hello, emotional vampires 👀). We talk about invisible emotional labour, midlife capacity, Catholic/learned guilt, and why stepping back isn’t selfish—it’s self-respect. We share how chronic one-way “offloading” keeps both people stuck, and how gentle, clear boundaries help everyone grow.

Key Discussion Points

• Monologue vs. conversation: the red flag of constant offloading with no pause, curiosity, or reciprocity
• Invisible labour is real: the listener/soother role is invaluable - and often unseen.
• Self-worth & caregiving: when your value is tied to being “the strong one,” pulling back can trigger guilt
• Outsourcing processing: how repeated dumping keeps others in a holding pattern (and drains you)
• Quiet boundaries: reply when you have capacity, slow the response loop, name your limits kindly.
• Love ≠ carrying it all: you can care deeply without being the emotional crutch.

Listener Takeaways

• Notice your body’s cues: if you dread the message or feel depleted after chats, a boundary is needed.
• Ask the reciprocity question: do they ever ask how you are—and stay to hear the answer?
• Try a gentle reset: “I want to support you, but I don’t always have the emotional energy to take everything on.”
• Delay is a boundary: respond when you have capacity, not on read-receipt guilt.
• Guilt ≠ wrongdoing: it often shows up when you’re doing something new and healthier.
• Protect your peace: empathy with boundaries prevents burnout—and keeps relationships honest.

Join the Conversation
Tell us your story on Instagram @youkeepmesane.pod or leave us a voice note -we’d love to hear how you navigate this. Share this episode with the friend who’s always “the strong one.”

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

Feeling stretched thin, foggy, or quietly burning out? You’re not alone. In this episode, we get honest about that midlife feeling of running on empty - when hormones, deadlines, and daily demands leave you wondering how it’s all sustainable.

Inspired by Dame Patricia Routledge’s beautiful reflection before her 95th birthday, we talk about what it really means to bloom again. From her role as Hyacinth “Bouquet” to her later-life creativity and peace, her words remind us that it’s never too late to come home to ourselves.

We explore how midlife isn’t a decline but a recalibration - a shedding, softening, and rediscovering of what truly matters. Whether you’re exhausted, in transition, or simply questioning who you are without the noise, this conversation is a reminder that growth doesn’t stop. It just changes form.

Key Discussion Points

• The emotional exhaustion that sits “behind your eyes” - and why so many of us feel it.
• Dame Patricia Routledge’s wisdom on fear, timelines, and finding peace later in life.
• Landing Hyacinth Bucket at 50 - how the role healed something in her.
• Learning Italian at 60 and painting at 80 - the joy of growth without goals.
• The freedom of “nothing to prove” and why midlife can be the age of authenticity.
• Shifting from “How do I get back to who I was?” to “Who am I becoming?”
  
  

Listener Takeaways

• Midlife isn’t the end - it’s a reset. A time to recalibrate, soften, and listen to your own rhythm.
• Growth doesn’t have to be loud. Sometimes it’s found in stillness, in joy, in doing things just for you.
• You’re never too late. There’s no timeline for blooming — it can happen at 40, 60, or 95.
• Start small. Learn something new for fun, say no without guilt, or simply sit in quiet presence.
• There’s no race to become who you’re meant to be. The timeline you were taught to follow isn’t real - you’re allowed to bloom later, slower, and differently than you expected.
• Peace isn’t found in perfection. It begins the moment you stop performing and start listening to who you are underneath the noise.

Join the Conversation

What does blooming again look like for you right now? Is it softening, starting over, or rediscovering joy in the ordinary?
Send us a DM or voice note - we’d love to hear your reflections.

If this episode gave you hope or made you pause, share it with a friend who might need the reminder that it’s never too late to bloom again.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.