Many people move through life feeling as though their own habits are steering the ship. Patterns they never consciously chose, routines that don’t feel good, and behaviours that seem to operate on autopilot. Whether it’s emotional eating, numbing out with endless scrolling, drinking more than intended, or repeating the same relationship cycles, it can start to feel like our habits hold more authority than we do.This episode challenges that belief head‑on. It unpacks how real change unfolds, why sheer willpower rarely works, and how compassion, rather than self‑punishment, can interrupt long‑standing patterns and help us reclaim a sense of agency.

On this episode of The Happier Life Project, Shahroo Izadi joins the conversation. Shahroo is a behavioural change specialist, psychologist, and bestselling author whose work has reshaped how thousands of people understand habits, addiction, and personal growth. With more than a decade of experience, including roles within NHS addiction services and as Relapse Prevention Lead at Amy’s Place (the Amy Winehouse Foundation’s recovery residence for young women), Shahroo has brought her practical, empathetic approach to over 175 organisations across 13 countries, from Google to Meta to Amazon. Shahroo is also the author of three books including two Amazon number-one bestsellers, and is best known for her Kindness Method, a practical, self-compassion-based framework that helps people build habits that stick, without shame or self-criticism.

This conversation explores Shahroo Izadi’s compassionate approach to behaviour change, including The Kindness Method and why shame, self‑criticism, and willpower‑only strategies keep us stuck. She breaks down the difference between wanting to change and being ready to change, the emotional payoff behind our habits, and how small, practical micro‑strategies can help us interrupt patterns and reclaim our lives. Shahroo also shares insights from her work in NHS addiction services, talks about why relapse isn’t failure, reveals how to respond to setbacks without losing progress, plus the powerful role loneliness plays in habit formation. This is a grounded, hopeful look at why change is hard, why it’s possible, and how compassion can make it stick.

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For more on Shahroo and her books: https://www.shahrooizadi.co.uk/

To follow Shahroo on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shahroo_izadi/