The Eighth Day of Christmas - Intercontinental Ballistic Mistletoe
Richie Buck’s journey through the North Pole takes a sharp, disorienting turn as he finds himself deep inside the abandoned institution where elves once labored until their final cuckoo clock. There, amid smoke, shadows, and the lingering scent of some "elfin tobacco,” Richie meets the elusive Todd O. Tannenbaum - better known as The Toddfather.
At first, Richie thinks he’s finally reached the North Pole official who can help him prove Santa’s innocence. But the longer he sits in that haze, the clearer it becomes: Todd didn’t bring him here to save Santa… he brought him here to bury him. When Richie refuses to bend, Todd flips a radio knob, and Richie collapses into a drug-induced sleep.
He wakes in a strange room with Ellie, the world’s most impatient elf - who informs him they’re late for a meeting with the mayor. Nothing at the North Pole looks the way Richie imagined. No lights, no candy-cane cottages. Just industrial gray, weary elves, and simmering unrest.
Mayor P.P. Patenaude greets Richie with eggnog, charm, and a political request that makes Richie’s head spin: an endorsement from Santa Claus himself. And later, at the North Pole’s exclusive “NOPO Cabana,” Todd and the mayor ply Richie with Liquid Christmas and dense political riddles, turning the evening into a blur of smoke, neon, and escalating tension.
But the night isn’t over. Outside, an elf in a heavy coat stops Richie and ushers him into a black sleigh. The elf flashes a badge.
Cameron D. Kane Head of the ELF-BI.
According to him, Santa’s arrest has created an international hostage crisis. Power is shifting. Alliances are forming.
If Richie wants to straighten the mess out, he’ll need to meet someone who knows Santa better than anyone.
Mrs. Claus.
It's like Santa Claus. As a suspect. On Dateline. In the South.
Cast: Richie Buck - Jason Usry Santa Claus - Pat Picone Todd O'Tannenbaum AKA: The Toddfather - Chris Helton Ellie the Elf - Sydney Catanese Mayor P.P. Patenaude - Lance Reenstierna of Crawlspace and Missing Cameron (Cam) D. Kane, head of the Elf B I - Tim Pillieri of Crawlspace and Missing Special drink of the podcast created by Nina of The Already Gone podcast.
Head Elf, Jason Usry Co-Executive Elves: Rebekah Sebastian, Dr. Shiloh Catanese, Dr. Scott Musgrove, and Michelle Kaz. Santa Maybe, a Criminal is written and produced by Jason Usry Music and Sound FX sourced through Epidemic Sound, Soundstripe, Audiio, Universal Music for Creators and more. Additional music and atmospheres provided by Captain Fathands. Follow the show on social media: X - @santamaybe Facebook - @SantaMaybePodcast Web - santamaybe.com
Until next time: BE NICE